i was waiting for the mother hen to gather me

i was just on my way back from the student center, when i saw a mother duck scurrying along with about 8 chicks following closely behind. i followed them for a ways. as i took my time behind them the mother quickened her pace and the little ones struggled to muster enough energy  to keep up. i couldn't help but smile. the chicks were still quite young, and weren't very coordinated. they all were stumbling clumsily along behind their mom. finally i stopped and the mother stopped with all of her children just outside my reach. when she stopped the little ones almost instantly fell on their tuckered out tummies. 

i grinned for a while and then turned and went on my way. on my walk to the dorm i couldn't help but reflect on this same kind of love that G-d shares with us. i find it interesting that one of the only places G-d is described with female attributes is in matthew. G-d is described as a mother hen who is there to protect her children under her wing. it was neat to see those little clumsy chicks crashing about behind their mother. that is often me, there i am walking in line with G-d, then a little pebble or crevice causes me to stumble. just as the little chicks, my response is to get up and quickly scurry back in line behind G-d. 

it is also neat to reflect on the idea that sometimes, as those clumsy unintelligent little chicks, we don't understand why G-d doesn't give us rest in the hustle and bustle of our lives. perhaps it is to protect us from the things that we are too small to understand. but in the end, when we are out of harms way, we get that much needed rest, and it is good to rest easy under Her wings.

 

mr. berrian. less please.

less of my beliefs.

more of You.

i need to record some jams

last night i took my guys to the hot springs. i know i tend to write about hot springs a lot, but honestly every time i go out there i experience something new. often times people bash on the fundamentalist idea of spiritual retreats, but i find them to be wonderful and much needed. the hot springs are probably the closest thing i have ever experienced to a spiritual retreat. perhaps it is the location, the scenery, and proximity to the city. when i am there i am so far out that i can't get cell phone reception or even consider seeing the lights of the city. it is wonderful to resort back to the simple life. (even though it does require a car to get out there). 

the springs are just a reminder of how small and insignificant my problems are. the "problems" that i worry about, are so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and i guess it is the combination of the vastness of the night sky, the grand mountain scape, and distance from my troubles that evoke this feeling.

every time i go i am also reminded of another past event, that i would rather forget at times, but i can't help but laugh at it at the same time. again one of those problems that are insignificant now in hindsight. maybe someday that negative memory can be replaced with a positive memory...

maybe...

all praise be to G-d

motivation please

this spring weather is really unhealthy for students. i have had a time trying to get motivated enough to come inside and do work.

so kylee. wonderful show. must have felt great to see so many of your friends and loved ones come out and experience something that you put a ton of time and effort in. not to mention you probably felt vulnerable putting your work out there to be judged, especially when you know how much time you put in. i know i would be.

yesterday i watched stanley kubrick's adaptation to the novel lolita, i thought it was wonderful. it was one of those films that you feel you should be disgusted afterwards, however you can't help but sympathize with what our society deems as the antagonist. wonderful screenplay. the characters were believable. i feel it is one of his greater works and unfortunately for whatever reason has been overlooked.

many late nights recently, but for some reason i always seem to wake up with a smile on my face.

life has been slow, but sweet to me for the last couple of weeks. 

i have been trying to warm a cold heart the last few days.

more scripture.

more understanding.

more patience.

more forgiveness.

o. o. and...

looking forward to the art exhibit of a lifetime wednesday evening.

continued learning

the last few weeks i have been incredibly blessed by meeting a number of incredibly friendly people. i was telling someone last night, since i have moved out west i have been very lucky in meeting many incredibly genuine people. as i drove west, it was as if people got progressively friendlier in the gas stations and at other stops i made. 

but more recently i have met a number of new bright faces through kylee pearson. on sunday evening i had the privilege of baby sitting three beautiful children with her, so two couples could go see vampire weekend and yacht live. both couples were incredibly friendly and gentle and loving. this reflected in how they brought up their children. one of the boys was potty training and he "spilled" while he was on the toilet. i told him i would clean it up for him, but all he could say was that he was nervous his parents would be mad at his mistake. later in the evening when i was tucking him in for the night he explained that he felt he needed to tell his mother and father about his accident. he is four years old. at that age i would have just hoped my parents didn't find my mistake. i think it is wonderful that he felt he could be honest with his parents about his mistake.

i have a lot to learn from this young one. often in my life i live as if i can hide my sins from  G-d, when the truth is, i should acknowledge my mistakes and look towards correcting them.

ok i am getting really unorganized. i started this post talking about friendly people and started talking about forgiveness. 

so if you think about it sometime soon. meditate on both.

my apologies for lack of organization.